I wish I was normal and didn't play pretend There's things in my mind that I wish would drop dead Including myself, I'm just rotting in my bed Spending my teen years on the edge of death But I've grown as a person with a broken heart I hit the biggest blinker on my stupid dying cart It numbs the pain a little and helps me with my art 19 and I'm still laughing at a fart I think I'm an addict or maybe not I don't really know It just really hurts I think I miss her I kinda do Even if it was long ago I hate myself I hate my face I hate my hair I hate it all They question how can I be insecure Spend a day in my shoes, your in hell for a year I hate what I'm becoming I just cant see a meaning To keep on ****ing living Got a week left of breathing I lost all my friends I'm a selfish ****ing prick Its hard to give a shit anymore and it hurts My mind is shutting down My soul can ****ing drown Id rather be at peace Making beautiful sounds Than wanna ****ing die In this manipulated lie You can see it through my eyes Tearing out of the disguise The days and getting are harder My entire body's weaker My soul is sinking deeper it hurts it ****ing hurts I'm told to move past it I'm told to move on In a state of decay I don't want it to hurt But it ****ing hurts And there's nothing I can do I'm ****ing stuck in place and tripping on my shoe Face first into problems More and more I can never ****ing solve them But I guess that's just the life of a **** up Imp tired of being the **** up That everyone said that I was, said that I was I tell you it hurts, the pain getting worse My scars just can’t match the pain the words My parents aren’t proud of the things that I’ve done To be honest I wouldn’t if I was my son I pushed them away the **** have I done? it hurts knowing I was the one in the wrong