4 am I’m nodding off This isn’t what I thought it was Hide myself behind these walls Ya it’s always my ****ing fault But I don’t want to Let go, let go No I’m never going to let go, let go Because there’s beauty in the breakdown I’ve been up Just keeping up For way too many days I’m just pouring up And throwing up Just throwing my life away Rambling and rambling and rambling But all this money I’m spending ya Its just my life I’m Gamblin’ with I Kick the party into gear For me it’s automatic 21 years later I’m still a ****ing addict Blurry reflection from all these tears Bottle myself with a case of beer tryna run from the fear can’t look at myself in the ****ing mirror 4 am I’m nodding off This isn’t what I thought it was Hide myself behind these walls Ya it’s always my ****ing fault But I don’t want to Let go, let go No I’m never going to let go, let go Because there’s beauty in the breakdown I’ve up just going down this rabbit hole alone I’m just lighting up and breaking down And turning off my phone Overthinking, under eating, Over drinking, under weight Just let me out the ****ing gate And I won’t think to hesitate ya I kick the party up a notch For me it’s geggtting hectic 72 hours later Wounds are getting septic Blurry reflection from all these tears Bottle myself with a case of beer tryna run from the fear can’t look at myself in the ****ing mirror