This might have been the hardest song to make in this entire record. I was essentially trying to tell my younger self about how we’ve ended up disabled and the consequences of it in our daily life. These feelings are reflected in my social and professional experiences and are intensified while on tour. It used to be our great dream to tour the country, and now I see it as a horrible nightmare because of the physical pain caused by my disabilities. At the end of every tour, I return home and spend days in bed to recuperate from doing something I love. I am connected to myself the most when I'm on stage, but I struggle knowing the pain I’ll suffer for doing it. It especially pains me because I’ve had to cut tours short to be mindful of my body. It’s hard not to look at your friends, in music and outside of it, and not feel jealous of their physical well-being. They’ve never had to fight death. I wish I were them.