Mr. Telegram tells lies like Pinnochio There he is watch his nose grow In the silence of the night He lives a double life Prays for an Honourary wife Mr. Telegram can't let go of his ex in Texas Secretly cries over spilled milk at breakfast Really isn't happy acting in the soap opera Dreams of sharing a cup of Sumatra coffee with me Mr. Telegram sends messages crystal and clear He tells me everything I want to hear Then he rips me to shreds Because he's in bed with his ex in Texas Mr. Telegram you're a day late and a dollar short No, we can't be friends The idle chit chat must come to an end Since you can't let go of your ex-girlfriend