I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)

录音室版 · 1446134400000

I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)

01

1

Introduction, A Gift From Derrick

Eugene Mirman

3 min 31 s

2

Some Jokes That Have To Do With My Girlfriend, A Hotel In Boston, A Man In Provincetown, Twitter, Time Vs. Timing, A Neck Pillow

Eugene Mirman

5 min

3

Sub Pop Showcase At SxSW

Eugene Mirman

1m 56 s

4

Eugene Mirman

3 min 3 s

5

Some Jokes That Touch Upon Religion, Guitar Center

Eugene Mirman

3 min 4 s

6

A LinkedIn Profile

Eugene Mirman

2 min 39 s

7

The Time I Was Mugged In Mexico With Michael Stipe

Eugene Mirman

5 min 48 s

8

Girlfriend, Khaleesi, Any Questions, Making A ‘Zine

Eugene Mirman

3 min 50 s

9

Contacting Celebrities On Facebook

Eugene Mirman

4 min 18 s

10

Not Happy With A Parking Ticket I Got In Portsmouth, NH

Eugene Mirman

7 min 59 s

11

Paintings I Made To Showcase At My Local Whole Foods

Eugene Mirman

2 min 29 s

12

I Marry A Couple From The Audience On Stage

Eugene Mirman

7 min 5 s

02

1

Welcome To The Meditation, Please Get Comfortable

Eugene Mirman

3 min 22 s

2

Eugene Mirman

2 min 26 s

3

Eugene Mirman

1m 55 s

4

Tummy, Doodle & Hoo-Hoo

Eugene Mirman

2 min 54 s

5

Eugene Mirman

2 min 54 s

6

Throat, Arms & Hands

Eugene Mirman

2 min 41 s

7

Eugene Mirman

1m 51 s

8

Thank You Body, Simple Ways To Relax

Eugene Mirman

3 min 14 s

03

1

Eugene Mirman

16 s

2

Eugene Mirman

4 s

3

Horse Galloping

Eugene Mirman

7 s

4

Eugene Mirman

8 s

5

Eugene Mirman

4 s

6

Eugene Mirman

8 s

7

Eugene Mirman

5 s

8

Eugene Mirman

7 s

9

Eugene Mirman

9 s

10

Cat Asking For Directions

Eugene Mirman

9 s

11

Two Sheep Arguing

Eugene Mirman

10 s

12

Mice Making Fried Rice

Eugene Mirman

6 s

13

Eugene Mirman

4 s

14

Eugene Mirman

7 s

15

Fox Embarrassed About His Boner

Eugene Mirman

7 s

16

Giraffe Sleeping

Eugene Mirman

8 s

17

Eugene Mirman

4 s

18

Eugene Mirman

9 s

19

Chicken Prostitute Haggling

Eugene Mirman

13 s

20

Eugene Mirman

5 s

21

Toilet Flushing

Eugene Mirman

8 s

22

Eugene Mirman

8 s

23

Automatic Door Opening

Eugene Mirman

6 s

24

Eugene Mirman

4 s

25

Eugene Mirman

6 s

26

Frying Pan Sizzle

Eugene Mirman

8 s

27

Eugene Mirman

9 s

28

Dishwasher Running

Eugene Mirman

8 s

29

Telephone Ringing

Eugene Mirman

7 s

30

Telephone Falling On The Ground

Eugene Mirman

9 s

31

Eugene Mirman

8 s

32

Eugene Mirman

9 s

33

VCR Ejecting A Tape

Eugene Mirman

6 s

34

Group Of Businessmen Agreeing

Eugene Mirman

18 s

35

Baby Locked In A Dresser

Eugene Mirman

9 s

36

Eugene Mirman

4 s

37

Eugene Mirman

6 s

38

Eugene Mirman

9 s

39

Little Girl Crying

Eugene Mirman

12 s

40

Man Walking In Boots

Eugene Mirman

12 s

41

Eugene Mirman

5 s

42

Screaming Woman Who Sounds Like A Man

Eugene Mirman

7 s

43

TV Audience Clapping At Food

Eugene Mirman

11 s

44

Eugene Mirman

14 s

45

Eugene Mirman

10 s

46

Last Guy At A Rave

Eugene Mirman

9 s

47

Eugene Mirman

6 s

48

Eugene Mirman

7 s

49

Eugene Mirman

8 s

50

Eugene Mirman

7 s

51

Scanning An Item

Eugene Mirman

4 s

52

Feeling For A Ripe Avocado

Eugene Mirman

6 s

53

Jihadist After Seeing About A Boy

Eugene Mirman

7 s

54

Jack-In-The-Box

Eugene Mirman

8 s

55

Eugene Mirman

6 s

56

Eugene Mirman

6 s

57

Eugene Mirman

5 s

58

Italian Person Eating a Pizza Pie

Eugene Mirman

7 s

59

Naturalized Immigrant Doing A Job You Are Unqualified For

Eugene Mirman

10 s

60

Abortion Doctor Enjoying A Candy Bar

Eugene Mirman

10 s

61

Grand Wizard Can’t Find A Sock

Eugene Mirman

6 s

62

Powerful Senator

Eugene Mirman

9 s

63

Powerful Senator II

Eugene Mirman

11 s

64

Eugene Mirman

6 s

65

Ambient Noise In An Airplane

Eugene Mirman

12 s

66

Airplane Flying

Eugene Mirman

10 s

67

Eugene Mirman

7 s

68

Police Siren In Europe

Eugene Mirman

8 s

69

Police Siren In Belgium

Eugene Mirman

8 s

70

Eugene Mirman

4 s

71

Eugene Mirman

5 s

72

.357 Magnum Inside A Watermelon

Eugene Mirman

11 s

73

Gays In The Military

Eugene Mirman

6 s

74

Eugene Mirman

5 s

75

Eugene Mirman

10 s

76

Eugene Mirman

10 s

77

Eugene Mirman

9 s

78

Eugene Mirman

11 s

79

Sentient Robot Going About His Daily Business

Eugene Mirman

14 s

80

Computer Downloading A File

Eugene Mirman

10 s

81

Eugene Mirman

4 s

82

Eugene Mirman

11 s

83

Kids Playing In The Park

Eugene Mirman

14 s

84

Kids Playing In The Park II

Eugene Mirman

10 s

85

Spaceship Flying

Eugene Mirman

10 s

86

Spaceship Crashing

Eugene Mirman

7 s

87

Going To Warp Speed

Eugene Mirman

6 s

88

Alien Supermarket

Eugene Mirman

18 s

89

Eugene Mirman

11 s

90

Someone Controlling Technology By Waving Their Hands

Eugene Mirman

14 s

91

Ronald Reagan Taking A Shower

Eugene Mirman

9 s

92

Eugene Mirman

5 s

93

Fur Coat Getting ****** By A Bunch Of Cats

Eugene Mirman

12 s

94

Tree Falling In A Forest

Eugene Mirman

9 s

95

Jewish Person Saying “Oy Vey” Wrong

Eugene Mirman

8 s

96

Eugene Mirman

7 s

97

People Being Diligent At An Ad Agency

Eugene Mirman

10 s

98

Eugene Mirman

6 s

99

Living Helicopter Complaining

Eugene Mirman

10 s

100

Chinese Woman Eating Lasagna

Eugene Mirman

11 s

101

Hero Returning From A Budweiser Commercial

Eugene Mirman

10 s

102

Elephant Having Trouble

Eugene Mirman

10 s

103

One Of Those People On The Street Who Tries To Get Money

Eugene Mirman

13 s

104

Telephone Calling A Toaster

Eugene Mirman

13 s

105

Grasshopper Asking A Dog A Question

Eugene Mirman

15 s

106

Shortwave Radio

Eugene Mirman

12 s

107

Two Apples On A Rainy Sunday In The Fall

Eugene Mirman

12 s

108

Dentist Having ***

Eugene Mirman

7 s

109

Panda At A Hotel

Eugene Mirman

10 s

110

Birth Control Pills Telling A Little Boy Not To Eat Them

Eugene Mirman

10 s

111

Cat That Doesn’t Mind

Eugene Mirman

9 s

112

Male Toothpaste Being Sneaky

Eugene Mirman

8 s

113

Creamy Polenta Vs. Couscous

Eugene Mirman

10 s

114

Old Man’s *****

Eugene Mirman

10 s

115

Eugene Mirman

13 s

116

Museum That Needs To Use The Bathroom

Eugene Mirman

12 s

117

Celebrity Agreeing To Take A Selfie

Eugene Mirman

10 s

118

Guy Getting A Sweet Beej

Eugene Mirman

12 s

119

Fire Hydrant That Doesn’t Want Anyone To Know It’s Anti-Semitic

Eugene Mirman

13 s

120

Bellhop Who Got Stung

Eugene Mirman

7 s

121

LGBT Party Where People Are Eating Sushi

Eugene Mirman

16 s

122

LGBT Newsletter That Loves The Expendables Franchise

Eugene Mirman

10 s

123

Sweaty Kid Crying About A Sandwich

Eugene Mirman

8 s

124

Too Many Pieces Of Paper

Eugene Mirman

6 s

125

Eugene Mirman

4 s

126

Magic Clown Using His Powers

Eugene Mirman

12 s

127

Wild Turkey Bragging About His Mansion

Eugene Mirman

13 s

128

The Number 84 Explaining To The Number 52 That It Is Bigger But Not Better

Eugene Mirman

11 s

129

Tape Recorder Being Used Wrong

Eugene Mirman

9 s

130

Misogynistic Maple Trees

Eugene Mirman

12 s

131

Apple Sauce Being Naughty

Eugene Mirman

6 s

132

Eugene Mirman

9 s

133

Two Pistols Sitting On A Shelf

Eugene Mirman

8 s

134

Cookies Being Arrested

Eugene Mirman

10 s

135

Sheep That Is Too Cute To Eat

Eugene Mirman

13 s

136

Daughter Reacting To Her Mother Telling Her There Are Two Kinds Of People In This World

Eugene Mirman

11 s

137

Desk Covered In Hair

Eugene Mirman

8 s

138

Person From 1870 Who Was Frozen In Time

Eugene Mirman

14 s

139

Boy Who Loves Hammocks

Eugene Mirman

10 s

140

Eugene Mirman

10 s

141

A Billion Ants Writing A Complaint Letter

Eugene Mirman

12 s

142

Two 20-Year-Olds Touching Their Winkies

Eugene Mirman

9 s

143

Yellow Line That Divides Roads

Eugene Mirman

9 s

144

Smell Of A Pear

Eugene Mirman

11 s

145

Group Of Wealthy Men

Eugene Mirman

13 s

146

Eugene Mirman

7 s

147

25 Rats Sleeping

Eugene Mirman

23 s

148

Eugene Mirman

7 s

149

Eugene Mirman

5 s

150

Eugene Mirman

6 s

151

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5 s

152

Eugene Mirman

5 s

153

Eugene Mirman

5 s

154

Eugene Mirman

5 s

155

Eugene Mirman

7 s

156

Telescope Being Defensive

Eugene Mirman

8 s

157

Larry King Being Told Important Information

Eugene Mirman

10 s

158

Eugene Mirman

5 s

159

The Moment A Well-Respected Author Wins The Guinness World Record

Eugene Mirman

11 s

160

Eugene Mirman

5 s

161

Little Girl Teasing A Lamp

Eugene Mirman

9 s

162

Zoo With Nothing To Lose

Eugene Mirman

9 s

163

Eugene Mirman

7 s

164

Friendship Bracelet

Eugene Mirman

7 s

165

Thor’s Hammer, Mjölnir

Eugene Mirman

8 s

166

Two Lost Fireflies

Eugene Mirman

9 s

167

Eugene Mirman

10 s

168

Elevator At The Empire State Building

Eugene Mirman

13 s

169

Tip Of A Billionaire’s *****

Eugene Mirman

10 s

170

Brand New Pillows Covered In Blood

Eugene Mirman

8 s

171

French Kids Picking Apples

Eugene Mirman

8 s

172

Huge Pile Of Dirty Shirts

Eugene Mirman

11 s

173

Hotel Guest Falling Asleep Frustrated

Eugene Mirman

11 s

174

RomneyCare & ObamaCare

Eugene Mirman

16 s

175

The Nerve Of Some People

Eugene Mirman

4 s

176

Eugene Mirman

5 s

177

Spilled Milk That Found Out Its Son Died In A Car Accident

Eugene Mirman

9 s

178

A BuzzFeed List

Eugene Mirman

8 s

179

Two College Kids Subtly Trying To Figure Out Which One Is More Disadvantaged

Eugene Mirman

11 s

180

Fox News & MSNBC

Eugene Mirman

14 s

181

Amicable Divorce

Eugene Mirman

5 s

182

Bing-Bong Ding-Dong Playing With Boom-Boom Doom-Doom

Eugene Mirman

9 s

183

Eugene Mirman

6 s

184

Telecommuting Cat

Eugene Mirman

6 s

185

Eugene Mirman

5 s

186

Eugene Mirman

7 s

187

Caldor Binge Drinking

Eugene Mirman

11 s

188

Gender Roles On Their Way To A Football Game

Eugene Mirman

9 s

189

Eugene Mirman

4 s

190

School Teacher Given Permission

Eugene Mirman

12 s

191

High School Hockey Team Seeing 20 Years Into The Future

Eugene Mirman

7 s

192

Eugene Mirman

7 s

193

Anna Kendrick Discovering An Underwater City

Eugene Mirman

6 s

194

The Czech Republic

Eugene Mirman

8 s

195

Drug Lord Feels Pretty Bad

Eugene Mirman

7 s

196

Hotel Bed That Is Tired

Eugene Mirman

8 s

197

Warm Handmade Boiled Bagels

Eugene Mirman

9 s

198

Silly Billy Goat Got A ****** Addiction

Eugene Mirman

18 s

04

1

A Medically Reliable Introduction To Digital Drugs

Eugene Mirman

25 s

2

Eugene Mirman

3 min

3

Eugene Mirman

3 min

4

Eugene Mirman

3 min

5

Apple Cider Vinegar

Eugene Mirman

3 min

6

Eugene Mirman

3 min

7

Eugene Mirman

3 min

8

Eugene Mirman

3 min

9

Eugene Mirman

3 min

10

Eugene Mirman

3 min

11

Eugene Mirman

3 min

05

1

Eugene Mirman

18 s

2

Eugene Mirman

1m 32 s

3

Eugene Mirman

17 min 51 s

4

I Simply Keep Crying

Eugene Mirman

25 min 35 s

06

1

Welcome To My Russian Audio Phrasebook

Eugene Mirman

36 s

2

Common Statements & Questions For Everyday Situations

Eugene Mirman

1m 57 s

3

Conversational Russian In The Workplace

Eugene Mirman

2 min 17 s

4

Casual Phrases For Parties, Pubs & Outings

Eugene Mirman

2 min 38 s

5

Proper Dinner Conversation For The Educated Guest

Eugene Mirman

2 min 59 s

6

Small Talk With Strangers & Acquaintances in Public Spaces

Eugene Mirman

3 min

7

Useful Phrases While On Vacation In Russia

Eugene Mirman

2 min 49 s

8

Commonplace Subjects Within The Rich World of Academia

Eugene Mirman

2 min 39 s

9

Polite Ways To Engage People of High Status

Eugene Mirman

3 min 15 s

07

1

Enter The *********

Eugene Mirman

3 min 7 s

2

Take A Ride On The Poon Schooner

Eugene Mirman

3 min 19 s

3

I’m A Dirty Little Foreign Advisor

Eugene Mirman

3 min 32 s

4

I Thought I Was The Pancake Man

Eugene Mirman

3 min 46 s

5

You’re A World-Class *****-Grifter

Eugene Mirman

8 min 18 s

08

1

Intro To Ringtones

Eugene Mirman

28 s

2

Eugene Mirman

7 s

3

Vibrate Vibrate Vibrate

Eugene Mirman

7 s

4

Ding-Dong Doodly-Doo

Eugene Mirman

10 s

5

Waterfalls Shrimp Shrimp

Eugene Mirman

8 s

6

Fiddle-Doddle-Doodle-Deedle

Eugene Mirman

8 s

7

Doo-Doo-Pa-Dee-Da-Da-Pada

Eugene Mirman

11 s

8

Phone Is Ringing

Eugene Mirman

9 s

9

Eugene Mirman

7 s

10

Eugene Mirman

12 s

11

Eugene Mirman

13 s

12

Eugene Mirman

6 s

13

Eugene Mirman

5 s

14

Eugene Mirman

6 s

15

Eugene Mirman

5 s

16

Zippa-Dee-Doo-Da Zippa-Dee-Da

Eugene Mirman

9 s

17

Eugene Mirman

5 s

18

Eugene Mirman

10 s

19

Husband Calling

Eugene Mirman

9 s

20

Someone Is Calling

Eugene Mirman

12 s

21

******** Calling

Eugene Mirman

7 s

22

Eugene Mirman

6 s

23

Eugene Mirman

15 s

24

Eugene Mirman

10 s

25

Wouowowoooouuuooo

Eugene Mirman

13 s

26

Eugene Mirman

8 s

27

Trtrtrtrtrtrtrllllbbrrr

Eugene Mirman

17 s

28

Vrrrvvvvvvvvvvbbbrrr

Eugene Mirman

10 s

29

Hyeuueehuuyehyeheyehyeyeeuu

Eugene Mirman

12 s

30

Eugene Mirman

10 s

31

Hrrruuhrrrunnghruu

Eugene Mirman

6 s

32

Hraaaa! Hraavlaa!

Eugene Mirman

7 s

33

Luuuuleelaaalalou!!

Eugene Mirman

6 s

34

Unnngnhhhnhnhnuua

Eugene Mirman

11 s

35

Answer The Phone

Eugene Mirman

12 s

36

Eugene Mirman

6 s

37

Susan Sarandon Is Calling

Eugene Mirman

11 s

38

Eugene Mirman

6 s

39

Doodle-Doodle Hoo-Hoo

Eugene Mirman

7 s

40

Eugene Mirman

6 s

41

Eugene Mirman

5 s

42

Eugene Mirman

6 s

43

Eugene Mirman

5 s

44

Eugene Mirman

6 s

45

Eugene Mirman

11 s

46

Eugene Mirman

6 s

47

Eugene Mirman

4 s

48

I Can’t Answer The Phone

Eugene Mirman

16 s

49

Intro To Outgoing Voicemail Messages

Eugene Mirman

1m 8 s

50

Eugene Mirman

11 s

51

Eugene Mirman

9 s

52

Eugene Mirman

8 s

53

The Sizzle-Maker

Eugene Mirman

13 s

54

Eugene Mirman

13 s

55

Eugene Mirman

7 s

56

Eugene Mirman

7 s

57

Eugene Mirman

16 s

58

Eugene Mirman

7 s

59

Eugene Mirman

4 s

60

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8 s

61

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6 s

62

Eugene Mirman

7 s

63

Eugene Mirman

6 s

64

Eugene Mirman

7 s

65

Eugene Mirman

11 s

66

Leave Your Name

Eugene Mirman

7 s

67

Eugene Mirman

7 s

68

Eugene Mirman

11 s

69

Eugene Mirman

8 s

70

Eugene Mirman

5 s

71

Penicillin Dong

Eugene Mirman

6 s

72

Thong McHacky-Sack

Eugene Mirman

7 s

73

Eugene Mirman

4 s

74

Eugene Mirman

8 s

75

Confident Balls

Eugene Mirman

8 s

76

Eugene Mirman

10 s

77

Eugene Mirman

6 s

78

Pile Of Sneakers

Eugene Mirman

8 s

79

Eugene Mirman

7 s

80

Crème Fresh Jackson

Eugene Mirman

8 s

81

I Can’t Answer The Phone 2

Eugene Mirman

4 s

82

Flitchy Woo-Woo

Eugene Mirman

10 s

83

Slick ************

Eugene Mirman

6 s

84

Eugene Mirman

10 s

85

Can’t Come To Phone

Eugene Mirman

13 s

86

Eugene Mirman

7 s

87

Eugene Mirman

8 s

88

Eugene Mirman

9 s

89

Eugene Mirman

9 s

90

Hello, Mr. Cunt

Eugene Mirman

5 s

91

Standard Greeting 1

Eugene Mirman

7 s

92

Standard Greeting 2

Eugene Mirman

8 s

93

Standard Greeting 3

Eugene Mirman

7 s

94

Standard Greeting 4

Eugene Mirman

7 s

95

Standard Greeting 5

Eugene Mirman

10 s

96

Standard Greeting 6

Eugene Mirman

9 s

97

Standard Greeting 7

Eugene Mirman

7 s

98

I Can’t Answer The Phone (But I Want To)

Eugene Mirman

2 min 15 s

09

1

Please Take Off Your Shoes

Eugene Mirman

4 s

2

Don Draper Has The Flu

Eugene Mirman

6 s

3

Moons Over Your Hammy

Eugene Mirman

10 s

4

It’s Not A Slumber Party Without Thor

Eugene Mirman

4 s

5

Now My Back Hurts

Eugene Mirman

4 s

6

Thank You So, So Much Mandy Patinkin

Eugene Mirman

4 s

7

Eugene Mirman

5 s

8

Sneaking Around The Zoo

Eugene Mirman

8 s

9

Goodnight, Buddy

Eugene Mirman

17 s

10

Baba Yaga Already Said She Was Sorry

Eugene Mirman

6 s

11

Faxed To The Wrong Number

Eugene Mirman

12 s

12

Linda Ronstadt Chillaxing

Eugene Mirman

4 s

13

1960’s Street Fight

Eugene Mirman

5 s

14

Seriously Bro, You Just Made Me Goosh… Thanks

Eugene Mirman

9 s

15

You Can Call Me Al (Not Song)

Eugene Mirman

6 s

16

Don’t Worry, This Man-Nanny Can Keep A Secret

Eugene Mirman

11 s

17

The Best Misunderstanding

Eugene Mirman

4 s

18

Whoa… Lookout, Sir Beast-Weasel

Eugene Mirman

7 s

19

Kindhearted Fireman

Eugene Mirman

6 s

20

Let’s Put Our Intellectual Property Debate On Hold

Eugene Mirman

4 s

21

Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. And Mrs. President

Eugene Mirman

11 s

22

Ice Cream Hearts Melting In The Love-Sun

Eugene Mirman

11 s

23

Offal For Lunch, Woo-Hoo For Dinner

Eugene Mirman

24 s

24

Goofballs Having Silly Fun

Eugene Mirman

9 s

25

The Jackal Never Misses!

Eugene Mirman

10 s

26

Land-Grabber’s Cousin Has Nice Upstairs

Eugene Mirman

4 s

27

Mrs. Thunder/Mr. 80% Chance Of Rain

Eugene Mirman

7 s

28

Don’t Mind If I Do…

Eugene Mirman

11 s

29

Round One Goes To Princess-Rump

Eugene Mirman

7 s

30

Happy And Stuffed

Eugene Mirman

6 s

31

Just Another Guns N’ Roses Brunch

Eugene Mirman

6 s

32

Pleasant Surprise At Sleepaway Camp

Eugene Mirman

7 s

33

Handsome Old Man Has A Tummy Ache

Eugene Mirman

4 s

34

Eugene Mirman

11 s

35

No, Please… After You

Eugene Mirman

8 s

36

Gimme Back My Bonnie Raitt CD… Actually, Keep It

Eugene Mirman

10 s

37

Tollbooth Attendant Is Open-Minded

Eugene Mirman

8 s

38

88% On Rotten Tomatoes

Eugene Mirman

4 s

39

Mischievous Whoopsy-Daisy

Eugene Mirman

13 s

40

Two Rascals Showing Off

Eugene Mirman

28 s

41

48 And Flexible

Eugene Mirman

6 s

42

That Was Worth It

Eugene Mirman

13 s

43

Bandits Helping Around The House

Eugene Mirman

4 s

44

Army Buddies Going Big-Ball Bowling

Eugene Mirman

14 s

45

I’m The Autodidact Of Amour

Eugene Mirman

10 s

46

Oh, My Wife Knows

Eugene Mirman

9 s

47

That Was The Best FTP I Ever Uploaded

Eugene Mirman

13 s

48

The Healing Heart/Mother-In-Law

Eugene Mirman

6 s

49

Just Two Doves At A Sweat Party

Eugene Mirman

19 s

50

We Get Five Weeks’ Vacation In Holland

Eugene Mirman

5 s

51

Young Man Is An Excellent Executive Administrative Assistant

Eugene Mirman

16 s

52

Two Adults In A Small Space

Eugene Mirman

11 s

53

Dude, We’re On The 5 O’Clock News

Eugene Mirman

18 s

54

www.thepleasuresallmine.gov

Eugene Mirman

11 s

55

I Don’t Have The Hiccups Anymore

Eugene Mirman

8 s

56

Thank You For Allowing Me Access To Your Oven

Eugene Mirman

15 s

57

These Goat-Like People Know Their Bodies!

Eugene Mirman

8 s

58

Bill Clinton Is Still Quite Playful

Eugene Mirman

10 s

59

I Could Sure Use A Glass Of Water Now

Eugene Mirman

9 s

60

The Kindness Of Strangers

Eugene Mirman

10 s

61

We’re Registered At Bed, Bath & Behind

Eugene Mirman

13 s

62

IT Department Doesn’t Have A Care In The World

Eugene Mirman

4 s

63

Brassy, Bald And Ejaculating

Eugene Mirman

9 s

64

I Voted For McCain In 2000

Eugene Mirman

10 s

65

New Car Smell, Old Car Feel

Eugene Mirman

9 s

66

Paul Can Really Push Good

Eugene Mirman

12 s

67

Stay In My Guest Room As Long As You Want

Eugene Mirman

8 s

68

David And Joshua Mutual Pleasure Exchange

Eugene Mirman

8 s

69

Doin’ The Flip-A-Doo

Eugene Mirman

5 s

70

Anti-Vaxxer “Saxophone” Relaxer

Eugene Mirman

11 s

71

Germaphobe Does Not Mind

Eugene Mirman

4 s

72

Very Sleepy Man Delivers On Promise

Eugene Mirman

9 s

73

Fourscore And Seven Years Of Happy-Happy

Eugene Mirman

12 s

74

Eugene Mirman

9 s

75

French Woman Enjoying A Danish

Eugene Mirman

6 s

76

No Shirt, No Shoes — Service

Eugene Mirman

12 s

77

With Or Without You (Preferably With)

Eugene Mirman

12 s

78

Shouts And Murmurs

Eugene Mirman

4 s

79

Pilates Are Invigorating

Eugene Mirman

12 s

80

I'll Take A Look At The Dessert Menu

Eugene Mirman

8 s

81

The Last Rock Star

Eugene Mirman

20 s

82

It's Noon Somewhere

Eugene Mirman

4 s

83

My Bar Mitzvah Was Ten Years Ago

Eugene Mirman

16 s

84

Community Bookstore Meet-Up Gone Good

Eugene Mirman

5 s

85

Love Clean Up, Aisle One

Eugene Mirman

13 s

86

Found Your Thing Using MapQuest

Eugene Mirman

5 s

87

Divorced MILF At A Used Record Store

Eugene Mirman

15 s

88

This Cheesecake Is Divine

Eugene Mirman

4 s

89

Eugene Mirman

16 s

90

Can't Find My Socks (Don't Want To)

Eugene Mirman

5 s

91

Even Better Than An Associate Degree

Eugene Mirman

13 s

92

I Went To School In The Boston Area

Eugene Mirman

10 s

93

Square Hole, Triangle Peg, Plus Another Square Hole

Eugene Mirman

20 s

94

Call Me Dr. Stardust

Eugene Mirman

4 s

95

Now That's How A Puppy Should Sneeze

Eugene Mirman

23 s

96

Fun Times Inside A Grain Elevator

Eugene Mirman

4 s

97

Operation Cooch-Toot

Eugene Mirman

17 s

98

Eugene Mirman

4 s

99

My Parents Won't Be Home For A Year And Five Days

Eugene Mirman

8 s

100

Sure, In There Is Fine

Eugene Mirman

4 s

101

The Official Webcam Of Yugoslavia

Eugene Mirman

7 s

102

Last Entry Is At Three, But You Can Stay Til Six(!)

Eugene Mirman

10 s

103

Bridesmaid Cutting Loose At The Governor Bradford

Eugene Mirman

9 s

104

We Deserve A Michelin Star

Eugene Mirman

10 s

105

Mr. Mamet Showing Off His Special Forces

Eugene Mirman

21 s

106

Soup Dumplings, Squish-Squish

Eugene Mirman

7 s

107

How Very Hemmingway Of You

Eugene Mirman

4 s

108

Drinking Straight Out Of Lust’s Milk Carton

Eugene Mirman

11 s

109

I Wonder If This Was Allowed In Prussia?

Eugene Mirman

13 s

110

Pretty Fun Night In Merrill C3 Short

Eugene Mirman

7 s

111

Should We Take The Bridge Or The Tunnel?

Eugene Mirman

13 s

112

Dirty Boulevard

Eugene Mirman

4 s

113

The Wish-Maker Will See You Now

Eugene Mirman

17 s

114

Head Of Development Instructing Rugged Hiker

Eugene Mirman

12 s

115

The Shenanigans You Requested

Eugene Mirman

5 s

116

Please Don’t Make This About Harold Pinter (Again)

Eugene Mirman

7 s

117

A Gentleman Never Reveals His Source

Eugene Mirman

13 s

118

Glad The Town Approved Your Slurping Permit

Eugene Mirman

9 s

119

A Mime Betrayed, A Mime Forgiven

Eugene Mirman

10 s

120

Eugene Mirman

10 s

121

Please Be Quiet Or You’ll Wake Up My Titties

Eugene Mirman

8 s

122

She Got A Real Candy Apple Poot-Hooter

Eugene Mirman

10 s

123

Dolph Lundgren At That Top Of His Game

Eugene Mirman

8 s

124

Mustachioed Man Has Patience, Diligence

Eugene Mirman

11 s

125

Two Gigolos, One Office Manager

Eugene Mirman

10 s

126

Secretary Of State Is Not Off-Putting

Eugene Mirman

10 s

127

It Took Another Man’s Wife To Make This Boy A Man

Eugene Mirman

11 s

128

Nothing Goes To Waste

Eugene Mirman

18 s

129

My Mouse Is Thankful For Your Mouse

Eugene Mirman

11 s

130

Make Yourself At Home

Eugene Mirman

4 s

131

Meet Me By The Condom Machine

Eugene Mirman

5 s

132

I Feel Like I’ve Known You For Hours

Eugene Mirman

13 s

133

Postwar Japan Is Well-Understood By These Two

Eugene Mirman

14 s

134

Gene Simmons Crying In A Pile Of ****

Eugene Mirman

10 s

135

I’m The Only Lady Who Could Pull Excalibur Outta There

Eugene Mirman

7 s

136

Rooting For Truffles, Miami Style

Eugene Mirman

12 s

137

Businessman Has Ding-Dong Like Rocket Ship

Eugene Mirman

7 s

138

Sally’s In Charge

Eugene Mirman

10 s

139

It’s Raining Dan

Eugene Mirman

8 s

140

It’s Like Apples And Oranges (*******)

Eugene Mirman

4 s

141

College Is Exactly What I Was Hoping It’d Be

Eugene Mirman

20 s

142

Mentally Ill Farmer Is Finally Getting Help

Eugene Mirman

4 s

143

A Swedish Couple Enjoying Hearty Vegetables

Eugene Mirman

6 s

144

Vulnerable Oligarch Vulnerably Sexting

Eugene Mirman

7 s

145

Best Friends/Next Level

Eugene Mirman

9 s

146

Tooth Fairy Is Quite Real

Eugene Mirman

5 s

147

Civil Disobedience Met With Heartfelt Understanding

Eugene Mirman

14 s

148

A Textbook Case Of Level-12 Pleasure

Eugene Mirman

4 s

149

So Glad That Was You Behind Me

Eugene Mirman

6 s

150

An Astoundingly Honest And Fun Salesman

Eugene Mirman

4 s

151

Celebrating My Promotion With My Wife And Some Dude

Eugene Mirman

11 s

152

Crammin’ For The Jam Exam

Eugene Mirman

10 s

153

I’m Glad We Waited Til Dusk

Eugene Mirman

9 s

154

You Are As Powerful And Detail-Oriented As A River, Sir

Eugene Mirman

4 s

155

You’re Like John Adams Times 1.5!

Eugene Mirman

5 s

156

Babysitter Surprisingly Into Divorced Software Engineer

Eugene Mirman

9 s

157

I Guess We’ll Need A New Kitchen

Eugene Mirman

8 s

158

Guilty Catholics Have To Marry Each Other

Eugene Mirman

10 s

159

They Call Me The “You’re Welcome Man”

Eugene Mirman

30 s

160

Let’s Get Your Mind Off Of The Dust Bowl

Eugene Mirman

7 s

161

So Relieved We Found This Abandoned Schoolhouse

Eugene Mirman

7 s

162

File Under “The Rolling Stones”

Eugene Mirman

6 s

163

No Need To Explain Your Clean Aqueduct

Eugene Mirman

11 s

164

My Poon-Noodles Are Your Doon-Poodles

Eugene Mirman

7 s

165

Two-State Solution With Benefits

Eugene Mirman

7 s

166

My Skill Set Qualifies Me For This Position

Eugene Mirman

10 s

167

Can’t Tell If This Is *** Or Hockey

Eugene Mirman

12 s

168

Have The Report On My **** In The Morning

Eugene Mirman

5 s

169

So This Is Medicaid?

Eugene Mirman

7 s

170

Mature Cougar Is Addicted To Beej Pie

Eugene Mirman

10 s

171

Abe Lincoln (Not That One) Is Ready For Fatherhood

Eugene Mirman

6 s

172

Sure, You Can Use The Cat Door

Eugene Mirman

8 s

173

PTA Meeting Is Full Of Joy And Wonder

Eugene Mirman

6 s

174

Oh Peter, Thank You For The Yard Work

Eugene Mirman

10 s

175

Horace’s Compromise

Eugene Mirman

10 s

176

Plutocrats Got Feelings Too

Eugene Mirman

8 s

My Butt Has a Fever

Bob's Burgers , Dan Mintz , Kristen Schaal , Eugene Mirman
How Do You Lie to Your Child About Santa (feat. Lucy Wainwright Roche)

1669824000000
How Do You Lie to Your Child About Santa

1669824000000
Toymageddon (feat. Ira Glass & Eugene Mirman)

Yo La Tengo , Ira Glass , Eugene Mirman
An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory

1359993600000
An Evening Of Comedy In A Fake, Underground Laboratory

1359993600000
God Is A Twelve-Year-Old Boy With Asperger’s

1254758400000