Hey it's DJ Lukewarm I won't leave you in a hospital My bars are okay My beats sub-optimal I kinda like singing And I sorta like to rap Not a miracle Yet not a mishap I work in an office With my suit and my tie But don't let that fool you I'm a really cool-ish guy I like to watch the football And I think that it's great I watch it all the time But I'd never stay up late DJ Lukewarm, he's really great But he is pretty basic If you wanna be his mate 'cause his comedy is witty But his timing is poor One to the two To the three to the four My life is as plain As my paper-white complexion Not much of a saint Though I don't need correction Such an average guy Such a mundane fella Please go to our fridge a Nd pull me out a Stella I've got a pet cactus And a pet goldfish Beans on toast Is my favourite dish My kids say I'm dull But I really can be cool Once every week I am in the pub Comes home from work: "I'm home honey!" Sits down And watches a bit of footy And the way that he dresses It's really quite sad Socks and sandals To drive his family mad Touch the thermostat And I'm ready for complainin' If these days were older I'd be giving you a caning No, I only joke mate Don't even worry When we go to the airport That's when we hurry When I was your age I played with sticks But you can teach This dog some new tricks I understand your Games don't treat me as a lemon I played on the SNES, back in 1997 Disclaimer here: he did not play He just sat and watched His sister beat the game He'll tell you the contrary like a fool Absolutely anything to look cool I'm a fortress of power If the fortress was a house I'm a standing ovation Just without any applause I'm an eagle, oh yes! But I haven't any talents Not hero, nor villain I'm simply a balance Now I'm nearing in on my forties But I would hardly worry, oh please I live for excitement And I strive for the thrills Like sitting down And working out all of my bills